Why?

" I hope you don't mind my asking, but I can tell how much you love this little guy and am wondering why you are not adding him to your family?"

I got some e-mails asking me this question, it seems that they are curious as to why my own family is not bringing Jack home.  I probably should have answered that in my original post about Jack. 

Why are we not bringing him home?  We are the ones who have met him and spent time with him. So why is he not ours?

First, Holland has some very strict adoption rules. One of them is that adoptive parents get absolutely NO access to the shared list.... Agencies match a child with parents. It is not permitted to pre-identify your child and request to be matched.

Second, I believe a couple adopting should both REALLY, REALLY want it for 100%. And with us that's not the case. Trust me, if it were up to me I would be in China tomorrow to ad another son to my family.... but it's just not possible...

So no, we cannot bring Jack home. But I just had to do something to help. He has been on the China "shared list" for over a year now... I'm sure the words "spina bifida" are scaring families away.  Jack needs a voice....and a grant.

I know that he can never be my own child, but I also know that I can not turn my back on him and walk away.  I felt sure that I absolutely had to do something to help Jack's forever family find him.

There are times when we are there to be their Mommy and Daddy.  And then there are times when we are there to just be their voice.